Anxiety and Depression · Relationships · Self Improvement

Music Therapy

This is a song for anyone with a broken heart
This is a song for anyone who can’t get out of bed
I’ll do anything to be happy
Oh, ’cause blue skies are coming
But I know that it’s hard

Noah and the Whale

I’d recommend hitting play on some of these videos as you work your way through this post. These songs, among many others, have been another of the anchoring truths I have clung to during this time of, shall we say, transition. Those of you who know me well, will not be surprised by how much music has meant to me over the past two months. Music, regardless of the situation, is vital to me… But I find in times of strife it can be one of the most effective catalysts toward healing.

Given that our relationship took place over the course of a decade, my music tastes became entwined with “Said Person’s.” That was always going to be a given. But in the week following “The Day” I found it difficult to find anything to listen to as I drove the hour back and forth between my formerly beloved home and my parent’s house… Moving the remnants of my used-to-be life. Combined with all of the other factors, this was a terribly low blow from the universe. I was lower than low and suffering for SOMETHING that was entirely mine. Miraculously, when shuffling through my CDs, I found my 15 year old copy of “Dizzy Up the Girl” by the Goo Goo Dolls; burned for me in high school by one of the best and most constant people in my life. I clung to that CD like it was my parachute – my only vague guarantee for a safe landing in the almost free-fall I was experiencing. John and Rob made my “Dizzy” and then they got me to “Slide” to “Broadway…” How appropriate was it, then, that when I was planning a trip to my brother, they were going to be playing in the same town I planned to visit? Beautiful coincidence? Cosmic fate? Completely random happenstance? I really don’t care… I think it took me about 2.5 seconds to buy the tickets and then it was just a fidget inducing waiting game until I got to see them.

There were other wonderful and memorable aspects to that week. It was my first, legitimate, solo road trip. Additionally, I got to see one of my new favorite movies (Logan Lucky – If you haven’t yet seen it… you need to, I’ll wait). Hell, I got to see a solar eclipse at 94%, at a brewery, with my favorite brother (the one, the only, the OG best friend), while eating a Moon Pie and listening to The Dark Side of the Moon. But going, with one of my favorite people, and seeing the aged but still kick-ass and vital duo rock out for those of us who braved the rain… That was catharsis. It was remarkable and memorable… A once-in-a-lifetime experience, had at exactly the right time. We even got free upgraded tickets as soon as we arrived. Kismet.

I sang my heart out, and as the well worn words flowed from my mouth, I dropped a mental pin in that memory. That memory is going on the cork board I have erected in my brain, the one where I plan to immortalize each moment where I have felt a piece of my hurt dissipate for good. I felt empowered knowing I was able to celebrate during an occasion that stemmed from a passion I could identify as being inherently mine. That was the first truly “pinnable” moment I have been able to identify so far… Though I have high hopes for the future given the lasting impression of this one.


Because we are all made out of shipwrecks, every single board
Washed and bound like crooked teeth on these rocky shores
So come on and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief
And fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach
Come on and sew us together, just some tattered rags stained forever
We only have what we remember

Listener

Did you know it doesn’t necessarily take an aggressively high pitch or an overly loud sound to shatter glass? Glass shatters when the pitch of the sound being projected matches the pitch, or frequency, of the glass. As an additional caveat, microscopic faults must be present within the glass for this method to work. I would like to think that is also how my healing process works when it comes to the incorporation of music. Even when I am experiencing terrible amounts of pain, I can rationally recognize that there are faults, however microscopic, within every issue. All I have to do is match the frequency of the thing causing me strife, for a sustained period of time, and I will shatter that sucker. It’s not a fool-proof system, and it’s definitely more than a little idealistic, but even if it’s not a cure-all, at least I have a killer soundtrack for the problem at hand (I feel extremely “High Fidelity” right now).

Well, my problems haven’t shattered quite yet, but I do think the frequency has to be met for longer that two months to take care of the ending of a seven year relationship.

Regardless, I know I will be fine…

 

Because…


There ain’t no man that can save me
There ain’t no man that can enslave me
Ain’t no man or men that can change the shape my soul is in
There ain’t nobody here
Who can cause me pain or raise my fear ’cause I got only love to share
If you’re looking for truth I’m proof you’ll find it there

The lesson at the end of the day… the one that I get form every song, singer, artist, writer, family member, friend, etc. worth their salt (apparently this saying comes from the Romans, who knew?) is that you are what you make of yourself. It’s time to actually internalize that lesson, to live it. My music is reverberating inside my soul (Though I always make sure it doesn’t quite reach my frequency. Think of the mess that would cause) and is working its way out into the dance that is my life.

Clinging, as I have, to this outlet that I value so deeply… I have the following line up of concerts I will be attending in the coming months:

If you plan to be at any of these, hit me up. Let’s find our ideal frequencies together – shatter our issues and rock out for a bit!

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